The prompt for today was to create a set of rules for something that wouldn’t normally have rules. Inspired by a recent painful experience, I have written the rules for mashing potato.

The rules for mashing potato

The first rule of mashing potato
Is peel them, remove any skin
Although it’s delicious on jackets
For mashed it goes straight in the bin

The next rule of mashing potatoes
Is boil them all up in a pan
Remove all their starchy robustness
Then drain them as fast as you can

The third rule of mashing potato
Is splash in some milk or some cream
Some butter, and maybe some pepper
- it really will taste like a dream!

Then make sure your masher is sturdy,
As that is rule number four,
Then pound them and bash, squish and mash them
Until all the lumps are no more.

The last rule of mashing potato
Is never do it in a vest –
To splash scolding spud down your cleavage
Will leave you not quite self-possessed!

The best way of eating potato
Is mashed, and although I agree
That fried, baked, boiled, roasted or scalloped
Are yummy, it’s mash that’s for me!