I have a tendency to overthink, especially when it comes to things concerning myself. Especially when it comes to how others perceive me. I know full well that how people see me is often not at all how I assume they see me, and yet still it is something that preoccupies far more of my thoughts than it should. I am getting better. But sometimes I cannot help myself. So I am trying to be more deliberate with focusing on others and trying to be more present. Enjoying each moment for what it is rather than trying to analyse everything for subtle hints and clues that mean nothing like what I think they do. Some times I can do this with great success, but other times . . .
Everything is fogged
It is as though I exist in my own cloud –
Carrying it with me wherever I go.
So everywhere I am present, yet detached not involved
All time is passed in this manner
I bear my cloud which excludes me from all I crave
Take it. Please.
For though there is comfort in it’s familiarity,
I do not want it any longer.
I wish to free myself
For when the sun, on occasion, forces it’s way through
I feel for a fleeting moment it’s warmth on my skin.
Yet even before my smile is complete it is
snatched away from me
And the mist envelopes me once more.
How I long to be free of
This unyielding cloud of